


Our House

by jewboykahl



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Assumed Relationship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, One Shot, Pining, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:00:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29965350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jewboykahl/pseuds/jewboykahl
Summary: Kyle convinces Craig to go house hunting with him, when his realtor makes the mistake of assuming they are a couple—sending Kyle into a downward spiral.
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Craig Tucker
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23
Collections: JBK and Lotus’s Assumed Dating Prompts





	Our House

**Author's Note:**

> thank u to the love of my life thelotusflower for doing these w me annnnnnd readj f this over for me i love u 😌  
> based off of this prompt: 
> 
> I ask you to come look at houses with me and the real estate agent just gave a very convincing speech as to why this backyard would be a great place for a wedding

“I still don’t get why I have to come with you.” Craig grumbles, peering out the side as the car crawls to a stop. 

“Dude, I told you, the relator creeps me out,” Kyle reminds his friend as he puts his car in park. A quick glance at his watch reveals it's still ten minutes until the agreed upon meeting time. “He has a rape-y vibe.” 

Craig grins despite himself, rolling his head to the side to address him, “You do realize you’re a 6 foot tall man, right? You’re not exactly anyone’s first target.” 

Kyle scoffs, sending him a glare. “It could happen to anyone, Craig! Don’t be sexist.” Rolling his eyes, Craig refocuses his attention on his cell phone. Kyle’s eyes linger on his handsome profile, causing a lump to form in his throat. He clears it and says, “Thank you for coming though.” 

“It’s no problem. I was going to see if you were free anyway.” Craig replies. 

Kyle lets out a sigh as a car passing them continues on, proving to not be his realtor. They are about to tour the second property in Kyle’s house-hunt. He decided to finally move out of the dinky two-bedroom apartment he used to share with his best friend, who is now married in a home not unlike the one he sees before him. 

It’s quaint and modest sized, but situated on a quiet street and aesthetically maintained. He admires the classic red brick exterior, paired with dark wood paneling and shingles. The driveway looks big enough to park at least two cars in, which will definitely fit his one, tiny vehicle. 

His mother attempted to talk him out of buying a house until he got married, and he finally risked giving her a heart attack by breaking the news that it may  _ never _ happen—and that’s okay. He is 30 now, and has hardly ever been in a serious relationship, let alone recently. Plus, what kind of dumbass rule is it that you have to be married to own a home? It’s reductive and he is determined to battle the system. 

Besides, in order to find someone and fall in love and get married, he may need to start by getting over the stupid crush he has on his friend. Constantly putting himself in situations like this by choice is not helping, but  _ whatever. _

“There he is,” Kyle announces as a black Sedan whips into the driveway of his maybe home. 

Craig clicks his phone locked and grants Kyle a mocking wide-eyed gaze. “Should I grab my pepper spray?” 

“You’re a dick.” Kyle huffs, ignoring the cute way Craig laughs at him as he ducks out of his vehicle. 

The pair walk up to meet the realtor together, crossing the well kept lawn. They wait awkwardly side by side for the man to exit his car, and when he does, Kyle watches Craig’s face to gauge his reaction. 

Most people cannot tell Craig’s feelings only from his minimal shift in facial expressions, but after several years of close friendship, Kyle considers himself an expert. In this situation, there is the slightest raise on his eyebrow and tightening of his lips, missible if you do not know Craig’s facial cues for discomfort. Kyle does. He smirks to himself when he detects them and mutters, “Told you so.” 

Craig ignores this as the partially balding, mildly attractive, very tall man approaches them. It is rare Craig finds someone that exceeds his height, but this man does so easily. His friendly smile seems disingenuous and there is just  _ something else  _ unsettling about him. Perhaps just an aura. 

“Hey, there, Mr. Broflovski!” The realtor chants, pushing up his horn-rimmed glasses as he shifts his gaze to Craig, “and—?” 

“Mr. Tucker.” Craig deadpans. 

“Ah, well, I’m Chris,” he introduces himself, readjusting the papers on a clipboard he holds to reach into the pocket of his dress pants. “Ready to head on in?” When the pair nod, Chris grins and leads them up the walkway. “Now, the residents have already vacated this property, so you’ll have to just imagine it furnished, I apologize!” 

“Oh, it’s no problem.” Kyle tells him, shooting a pointed glare to Craig behind the man’s back. Craig purses his lips and tries to ignore the indication. 

Soon they gain entry to the house, Chris flipping on an overhead lamp for them as they enter. The artificial light is not needed, however, as a plethora of sunlight pours in from the windows. The entryway is lined with wood flooring, which turns to beige carpet in the adjoining sitting room. 

Chris begins spewing off details about the house and Kyle tries to pay attention—he really does. At first he thinks he’s doing a pretty good job of multitasking, but when they are already checking out the kitchen and Kyle realizes he has missed an entire room, he forces himself to stop watching Craig curiously pacing about the space. 

He  _ especially _ needs to stop imagining they are looking for a place together. 

“What do you think so far?” Chris inquires as they head toward the backdoors. Kyle nods with a slight smile. He knows not to give too much enthusiasm in any sort of negotiation situation. The taller man returns the nod, “You ready to check out the backyard? You’ll be shocked to see how much space you have!” 

“For sure,” Kyle agrees, glancing to his side to find his companion missing. “Craig?” 

The sound of a door opening turns both of their heads toward the half-bath. As Craig exits he says, “You’re going to need a bigger toilet if you want your ass to fit on it.” 

Kyle glares daggers at him as he joins them at the doorway. Chris snorts, “Well, alrighty.” 

On that awkward note, he turns to unlock the door, and Kyle takes the opportunity to deliver a swift punch to his arm. Craig smirks through the pain as they duck out onto the patio together. 

Kyle does in fact find himself surprised at the extensive, rectangular lawn. At the very far left corner resides a small storage shed, and before them is a small concrete patch, otherwise there is nothing but green grass that stretches on. Kyle envisions patio furniture and a place to plant a tree. He is ripped from his first actually productive thoughts by a terrifying suggestion posed by Chris. 

“If you boys are planning on a smaller ceremony, you would have plenty of space here!” 

Craig and Kyle exchange wide-eyed looks before the redhead snaps, “What?!” 

Chris’s chirpy persona drops, “Oh, uh—are you not together?” 

“No!” Kyle huffs, sending Craig a furious glare for laughing about it. He feels heat against his cheeks. 

“I’m so sorry, I just assumed since you’re here… together… and he’s got a…” Chris trails off, pointing to his ring finger. 

Craig peers down at the accessory on his hand, smirk still plastered across his face. Mortification has silenced Kyle, and he is actually somewhat thankful for Craig’s ability to handle the situation with grace. “As lucky as I would be to marry this handsome, tall doctor, we are tragically just friends.” 

Chris laughs awkwardly, nodding and deciding it is best to move on. Kyle still feels hot as they are led back inside to check out the basement before they complete their now  _ hellacious _ tour. He feels like he will not move in even if he does quite like the place in fear of being reminded of that moment every time he steps out to his yard. 

Not soon enough, Kyle is telling Chris that he will be in touch about the property and setting up a time to see one more. As soon as the man climbs back into his vehicle, Kyle releases the breath he has been holding in and Craig, the laugh. 

Kyle whirls around to him and groans, “You are the  _ least _ helpful person on the face of the fucking planet.” 

“Hey, that’s not fair—I kept you safe.” Craig asserts as they head back to the curb where Kyle’s car resides.

He clicks the vehicle unlocked and slips into the driver's seat, debating on leaving the door locked and speeding away, leaving his friend to hitchhike. It is a good neighborhood after all. Though, he supposes the whole thing was a favor for him, so he unlocks passenger’s side or Craig to duck in. 

“Why are you so riled up about this? We came to look at a house together, and the way I present myself does not exactly scream womanizer. It’s not that surprising.” Craig says after a short stint of silence.” 

Kyle retorts, “It  _ might _ have been when you made a comment about my big ass.” 

“Oh, yeah, I did do that.” Craig chuckles. 

The redhead groans as he ignores a red octagon telling him to  _ Stop _ . He understands why it is not a big deal to Craig, but his heart and head are racing. It felt like being called out—like Chris knew he was picturing himself and Craig making breakfast together on weekends and decided to remind him that it is  _ not healthy _ .

“I just don’t get why you care so much,” Craig presses, sending him a grin, “you could do worse than me.” 

Kyle’s mouth is dry now. It also feels like  _ Craig _ is purposely testing him, and he does not appreciate it. He mutters, “I doubt it.” 

“I could name three people off the top of my head you willingly associate with that would be way worse for you than me. I think deep down you know that, too, considering I’m the one you asked to do this with you.” 

“You were the only one free.” 

“Oh, really? And what the fuck is  _ Kenny _ ever doing?” 

“Working!” 

“Sure. I think you just wanted to play house with me, Broflovski.” 

“Shut  _ up.” _

Kyle grits his teeth, feeling sweaty and exposed. He really  _ does _ want Craig to shut up, but another part of him wants to keep going until he is put out of he is forced to confess and put out of his misery. 

For once, Craig actually does shut up. It is rare he misses the chance to fuck with Kyle, so his willful changing of the topic comes as a shock. Kyle is on edge the rest of the car ride to the pick lunch that Kyle promised him for coming with him to check out the house. 

They pick up Wendys through the drive-thru and Craig asks, “Do you want to walk around Village Green after we eat? I want to test out my new phone’s camera.” 

“Sure, but I hope you’re talking about the  _ trees _ being your subject, not me.” Kyle shoots back, taking the small carton of fries Craig hands him. 

“Do you want me to check your sugar for you?” Craig offers before pulling out his own fries.

They have done it before—Craig pricking his finger, telling him the number, making the adjustments on his pump. After everything that just happened, however, it feels  _ way _ too intimate. Kyle shakes his head, “I’ll do it when we get to Village. Thanks, though.” 

Craig nods in response, putting on some music before grabbing his own fries. Kyle also thinks about why his friend chose  _ now _ to turn on music—because he knows Kyle cannot stand the sound of other people eating. He even put on a playlist he knows Kyle enjoys, including his favorite artists despite the fact that Craig is not as big of a fan of rap and R&B as he is. He chews his fries nervously and tries to ignore all these intrusive thoughts—especially the overarching one that wonders if Craig  _ does _ feel the same. 

They eat in relative silence and listen to the music. When they are finished and Kyle adjusts his sugar, they head out and around the park. 

They frequent the park that is primarily a walking path, complete with a large stage for local bands to perform and a small play area for kids. Kyle is not sure how they two always end up hanging out here, other than they seem to appreciate fresh air more than any of their other friends. 

“That’s pretty cool,” Craig announces, holding his phone out for Kyle to view a setting that barely changes the image in his eyes. 

“Cool,” He comments half heartedly, still completely in his own head. He is starting to think that Craig  _ not _ fucking with him is fucking with him way more. 

Craig snaps him from his thoughts by snapping a photo of him. Sending him a glare, he melts at the way Craig examines the terrible, unexpected selfie he captured of him. Kyle groans, “Delete it.” 

“Only if you tell me what’s wrong.” 

_ He’s good, _ Kyle thinks. Caught off guard now, he watches Craig slip his phone into his front pocket to provide him with his undivided attention. 

Kyle starts to say something, but the words fail them as he watches his boots scuff the salt-stained sidewalk. There are a million things circling his mind but he is uncharacteristically struggling to find the words. “I’m—fine, really, I just… I don’t know, do you think that other people think we’re dating? Like, when they see us together, like maybe even right now, do they assume we’re together?” 

“Probably,” is all Craig has to say on the matter. 

Kyle bites a lip, peering away as he loses his footing in the discussion again. It feels almost too close for comfort, but if he does not address it he will go insane. “Do you think we should… stop doing stuff together so much? And… I don’t know, get dates?” 

Craig finally meets his gaze as their strides become shorter. If he wasn’t so  _ fucking _ breathingly handsome, Kyle would not even be in this dilemma. His hazels dance around Kyle’s face before leaving again. He asks, “Is that what you want?” 

“No,” Kyle lets slip, hard and fast. What he is doing to himself may be difficult—dangerous even—but the thought of not spending time with Craig is far scarier. 

“Then don’t worry what people think.” Craig says, a smile curling his lips, and Kyle is unsure the meaning. He knows what he  _ wants _ it to mean, he knows how he feels, and he knows what to say—but for now, he will enjoy the brisk walk with his favorite person, who also does not want to spend less time with him. 

_

Kyle winces at the splash of hot tea against his knuckles. He grumbles swear words under his breath and he continues across the living room to the back porch, where he taps his foot against the door to obtain Craig’s attention. 

Craig peers up from his phone to see the other man struggling with two mugs. He puts his weight on his feet and twists the doorknob ajar for Kyle to slip through. 

“Take it, take it,” He demands before pursuing his lips at the barely successful transfer. 

Craig carefully removes the cup and cocks an eyebrow at the moisture around the handle. “Why did you fill this to the absolute brim?” 

“You’re  _ welcome _ for making you tea.” Kyle fires back, freeing his other hand from the smoldering beverage by setting it on the glass coffee table. 

The pair sit back down together, taking slow sips of their tea in unison. They are admiring the work they had just done, setting up string lights on the new, wooden pergola. 

“Not sure why we decided to do this project a week before our wedding, but it looks cool.” Craig states from behind his mug. 

Kyle smirks as he shifts in the patio couch, laying his legs across Craig’s lap as he reclines against a pillow. “We like torturing ourselves.” 

Craig hums in agreement as he rests his arms over his fiancé’s calves. “If our realtor had it his way, this would be our venue.” 

“Oh god,” Kyle groans in remembrance as Craig chuckles. He smiles fondly at the man beside him and shrugs, “At least he was kinda right.” 

“And very creepy.” Craig adds. 

“Told you!” 

They drink and enjoy the comfortable temperatures outside in their backyard, and Kyle feels a swell of gratitude and hope that it will feel this nice in a week. 


End file.
